A new televised advertisement for a drain opening product seems to cater to the kinkiest of lonely housewife fantasies.
A woman sees her kitchen sink is clogged and the doorbell rings. Two muscular, handsome men stand at her door. The plumbers have arrived to take care of business.
“I’m here to snake the drain,” one of them says in a sultry voice.
“I’m here to flush the pipe,” the other says with a raised eyebrow.
In the next scene she is standing between the two of them while they pour the product down the drain. She appears pleased, breathing heavily as they get the job done.
Suddenly she awakens in the checkout aisle of the local supermarket where she is buying the product. She had been fantasizing about the male deli clerk and bagboy in the store – they had been the plumbers of her dreams. They had shown up and snaked her drain.
My wife and I saw this commercial the other day. She was shocked at what they were insinuating in the advertisement and couldn’t believe they would allude to a woman having sex with two men at the same time.
I wasn’t so shocked for two reasons. I used to be a plumber and there is no shortage of dirty sex related jokes when it comes to plumbing. Here are a few examples:
Gas cocks – these are gas shut off valves and the plumbers I worked with always took the opportunity to point out the second word. “Go grab a cock for me,” they would shout. “Grab that cock.”
Nipples or nips – these are threaded pieces of black steel used for gas lines. They range in length from a closed nip to a six inch or larger. I do not need to explain why some would find this term sexual, or how some would position them on their shirts to make a joke.
Snake – plumbers snake the drain when it is clogged and some I worked with would joke about the size of their snake or whether or not a customer was satisfied with how they handled their snake. “She took one look at my snake and gasped as I plunged it into her drain.”
Laying pipe – It wasn’t uncommon to hear a fellow construction worker say something along these lines, “So you’re a plumber? You guys really know how to lay the pipe huh?” They would often say this with a wink, laugh, nod or all three while patting you on the back.
Crack – although not sexual and simply disturbing, many make jokes about seeing the butt crack of a plumber while he is bent over. I always wore a belt and did not have this problem.
I worked with a guy who had to go to a house to snake a drain at 7 a.m. When he arrived a woman with disheveled hair answered the door in a bikini. She had obviously been up all night partying.
“My kitchen sink is clogged and I’ve got to clean these wine glasses,” she said, or something along those lines.
Before he unloaded his snake and got down to business he stuck his fingers in her pipe and felt around a bit.
“Here’s your problem,” he said as he pulled a pair of women’s panties out of the drain.
The woman was embarrassed and blushed.
“I have no idea how those got in there,” she said.
Another time I was at a gas station hanging out with a friend while he worked. I was new to the plumbing business, 19 years old and hanging out after I had already been home to clean up.
Two women in their 30s entered the store, grabbed a case of beer and headed to the checkout line. They were giggling with one another as they set the beer downThey had obviously already been partaking in libations.
“We’re just waiting for the plumber to come over,” one of them said. “The sump pump is broken and he hasn’t shown up yet. We need someone to fix it for us real bad.”
My friend looked at me and looked back at them.
“He’s a plumber! He’s a plumber!” he shouted in excitement.
They looked me up and down not sure if I really was because I was young and didn’t have a plumbing uniform of any sort on.
“You got a card to prove it honey?” one of them asked me.
“No I don’t,” I said. “They never gave me any! I really am a plumber!”
One of them placed their hand on my shoulder and whispered in my ear.
“That’s too bad,” she said. “Always be sure to carry a business card with you. We’ll just have to wait on the guy we called or call somebody else.”
My friend and I couldn’t believe it, it was the kind of scenario that you might find in a movie.
But back to my point – it was only a matter of time before some plumbing product picked up on the inherent sexual nature of the plumbing industry. Advertisers know sex sells and the plumbing industry is rampant with sexual innuendo.
I think the commercial is genius but it is also on the edge – even for today’s world. Advertisers have never hesitated to use sex as a means to selling a product but this is the first instance where they have alluded to two men dominating one woman.
Is this a reflection of our degraded society or are they just trying to sell drain opening products by spicing them up? I opt for the latter as an explanation although I do think everyone is jumping on the “50 Shades of Grey” bandwagon in any way they can.
I expect pizza shops to jump on it next using a pizza driver and the word pepperoni. I don’t need to spell it out for you do I?